Things began awkwardly with Oscar The Grouch making a sharp retort early on to Stephen Fry. The famed bin-dwelling muppet stated that “once you’re said to be a National Treasure, that’s it… you’re finished. You’re fucked!” A startled Fry responded angrily, but soon left his chair weeping when Oscar mentioned something about Belgium.
An already unsettled audience looked on as Mr. Snuffleupagus put a question to Jordan Peterson: “How can we trust the judgement of a prick like you, who did nothing but eat chunks of beef for months and then fell over and woke up in Russia, having become twice as mental as you already were?” Instead of a reply, Peterson closed his eyes and started to pray, and members of the audience broke into giggles.
Jacob Rees-Mogg started to say something about the debate but was sharply interrupted by Elmo: “Elmo think there no debate. There no debate at all! Elmo realises that the right not interested in debate, or discussion of any kind! The right just want to divide and conquer.”
A confused Rees-Mogg then withdrew from the conversation, sucking his thumb and calling for “Nanny”, who had passed on sometime ago.
At this point Big Bird turned his huge, sorrowful eyes to the crowd, and declared: “Yes, this is not a debate. What we are taking part in is a pathetic reflection of the deranged impulses and irrational behaviour of the ruling classes, in never-ending conflict with the world as it is today.”
Writers for The Spectator ducked and covered as the following song played: