Category: Comedy

  • She Thinks She’s (Seen) Hexham Head(s)

    (Jumpscare at 7:57…)

    FURTHER EVIDENCE BELOW, JUST BEFORE 15 SECONDS IN!…

  • POLL: Good Idea or Bad Idea?

    THE IDEA: A cover version of “Let’s Get Physical” by Olivia Newton John, only it has been renamed “Let’s Get Liminal”. There are no other differences.

    INSULT THE GREEN SQUARE BELOW IF YOU WANT TO VOTE “NOT SURE”

    GLARE AT THE ORANGE SQUARE BELOW IF YOU WANT TO VOTE “DON’T”

    The poll results will appear in the blank space above on 3rd November 2085.

  • Deleted Scene From Star Wars

    GRAND MOFF TARKIN: Greetings, Lord Vader. My name is Grand Muff Tarkin
    VADER: That’s not your name
    GRAND MOFF TARKIN: [scampering away] Ah-hee-hee-hee-hee-heeeee! Hoo!

  • What If Hannibal Lecter Just Kept Getting Hit In The Head With A Bin All The Time?

    JODIE FOSTER: [quote from film]
    LECTER: [quote from film]
    A small red plastic pedal bin flies from off-screen, striking him
    LECTER: JESUS, WHO DID THAT
    Jodie Foster giggles a bit, but then stops when Hannibal gives her a hard look

    ________________________________________

    Hannibal Lecter is staring right into the camera
    LECTER: Ooh the lambs
    JODIE FOSTER ALSO LOOKING AT THE CAMERA: Oh no, the lambs the lambs
    LECTER: Clarice, do the lambs still screech and the blood still spatter all over the floor and all that
    JODIE FOSTER: My name’s not Clarice
    Hannibal Lecter looks confused. A small red plastic pedal bin flies from off-screen, striking him
    LECTER: [in pain] Clarice it happened again

    ________________________________________

    Hannibal Lecter is trying to get the flayed corpse of a security guard up really high in that room he’s escaping from
    LECTER: Fucking hell, he’s heavy. Even after I’ve eaten loads of his organs he’s still massive
    Lecter slightly slips on a ladder, almost causing him to fall off and drop the body
    LECTER: FUCK! Fuck me, I thought I was a goner there
    Lecter manages to make it up a few more steps
    LECTER: Fucking hell, why do I have to make things so difficult for myself
    Lecter continues to struggle
    LECTER: Shit shit shit, the cops are coming and I’m running out of time to apply my psychologically horrifying angel corpse motif. I haven’t even got that other guard’s face on my own face yet. My pulse is way the fuck above 85, let me tell you
    Lecter is struck by a small red plastic pedal bin that flies from off-screen. He screeches as he falls all the way to the ground, along with the body
    LECTER: [Weakly] Oh no the corpse’s arse is on my face. His horrible arse

    ________________________________________

    JK ROWLING: In my opinion Buffalo Bill is
    LECTER: If Hitler told you to jump in some dog muck, would you do it?
    JK Rowling looks outraged and her mouth goes into a horrified “O” shape, like a dilated anus
    LECTER: I bet you would

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  • How to Wear a Flat Cap: The Stylish Gentleman’s Guide

    1. Do not wear a flat cap.

  • Kith & Kin