Category: Comedy

Here is the very first comedy sketch I ever wrote, which I did at a very young age (typed from memory and slightly re-written for clarity)

INT. DAY. SUPERMARKET

THE INCREDIBLE HULK: GRRRRRR! I am incredibly angry

A small old lady walks by. She spots some milk on the shelf behind the Hulk

SMALL OLD LADY: Excuse me…

THE INCREDIBLE HULK: GRRRRRRRRRRRRR! NO MILK FOR YOU. IT IS ALL MINE

The small old lady kicks the Hulk in the shins. He starts weeping and hands over the milk from the shelf

THE INCREDIBLE HULK: *general crying noises and snuffling*

Audience laughter and applause

ADDITIONAL INFORMATION: I thought this was the funniest thing ever at the age of maybe 5. Full of confidence, I then tried to write a Ronnie Barker style monologue full of wordplay, but completely failed at it due to being a child with no real comedy writing experience. I got about as far as the words “Wagging Wogan”, which I may have cribbed from an actual mid-late 80s Barker sketch about Australia.

People Do Not Listen To Lyrics: A Case Study

Recently I was out Christmas shopping, trying to find a suitable present for my neice. In the local shopping centre there’s a dedicated toy shop – not that “Smyth’s” thing but some other company.

Anyway, after about three minutes of wandering around, with the only sound just being background chatter from everyone around me, a member of staff put on the in-store background music that was meant to be playing.

This was the very first track. I am not joking.

I swear I heard one of the mums absent-mindedly hum along to the chorus.

…Do any of your readers have tales of completely inappropiate music being played in public settings?