And here’s a link to the Bandcamp page. It’ll be popping up all over all the other music streaming hellholes in due course…
Snibblets is a four track EP from Michelle Pamela Lyons. It’s a short excursion into an odd sort-of psychedelic synth pop, with the occasional rock bit and some very squeaky vocals. The fourth and final track is a stylistic switch up in the form of an extended aleatoric ambient piece.
Snibblets is a four track EP from Michelle Pamela Lyons, which will be available on Bandcamp and across various streaming services on Friday 25th 26th July 2024. It’s a short excursion into an odd sort-of psychedelic synth pop, with the occasional rock bit and some very squeaky vocals. The fourth and final track is a stylistic switch up in the form of an extended aleatoric ambient piece.
The tracklisting is as follows:
This is a link to a Spotify pre-save page, and here’s a different link to my Bandcamp where you’ll eventually be able to buy it.
Thank you to the person who messaged me on Bandcamp about the whole Sandown Clown thing going viral, er… about two weeks ago. Took me until now to address it, which is of course typical for me. Anyway, as I’m trying to make more of a crack at this whole London Paris New York Munich Everyone’s Talking ‘Bout Mmm Pop Music game, here’s a page that Distrokid have given me to link to. “Sam The Sandown Clown” should be going back online in all the usual places as time goes on. Not massively happy at having to play the streaming game, but a girl’s got to do what a girl’s got to do.
EDIT 19:21 PM BST – It’s on Youtube Music:
POSH HOTEL SECURITY MAN: Are you enjoying your stay miss lady thank you ma’am
ME: Yes! I’m really excited about being in New York, the city that can never sleep
(I jump and down frantically due to being so thrilled. The security man looks at me sternly)
ME: …Would you like me to leave the building
POSH HOTEL SECURITY MAN: By the back entrance, please
Are you a newspaper editor? Do you work at the Guardian? Do you work at BBC News? Are you involved in any way with British journalism? Then why not try Being Wry About Pies Day, which this year is being held near the Tesco in the District Shopping Centre on the outskirts of Basingstoke.
Everyone will sit around on orange plastic chairs in the car park and be wry (which is defined as being funny in a way that shows irony by stating that you think something is funny but also disappointing or annoying, but it is in fact you who are the annoying one) about pies (which are defined as food).
Under discussion will be pork pies, steak and kidney pies, lamb pies, pies made out of human heads or flesh or something like in Sweeney Todd, vegan pies, those pies that have fish heads sticking out of them, and eerie freakish pies that have nothing but gravy inside or just meat or nothing.
The detached joshing will come to an end at 6PM sharp, when someone will stand up from their orange plastic chair and shout “McDonald’s APPLE pies!”, and everyone will laugh as if they heard a joke and then go back home. Coffee and biscuits are available, but will be spurned.
Are you over the age of perhaps 30 or 40? Are you a newspaper columnist? Are you a newspaper editor? Do you work at the Guardian? Do you work at BBC News? Are you involved in any way with British journalism? Then why not get yourself down to Bridgwater in Somerset for Getting Annoyed At Old Cinema Equipment Day.
Taking place in the rundown environs of The Angel Place Shopping Centre, you can walk around bothering the miserable people of this awful town by getting pointlessly angry over the old ways of cinema exhibition. You can point at drawings you made of what you think a projector looks like and say “Honestly, there’s no need for this,” or wear a T-shirt that features the words “Film looks old and bad and isn’t as good as a Taylor Swift album”.
The performative disdain comes to an end at 6PM sharp, when everyone will hurl themselves backwards onto the ground and start imagining all the shit cinema adverts in their head, and pretend to enjoy them. Coffee and biscuits will be looked at.
Are you over the age of perhaps 30 or 40? Are you a newspaper columnist? Are you a newspaper editor? Do you work at the Guardian? Do you work at BBC News? Are you involved in any way with British journalism? Then why not get yourself down to Banstead in Surrey for Banstead Behaving Abnormally Day.
You can walk up to men and say things like “I’m looking at you, and I’m placing you in a category,” or you can tell women “We’re married, aren’t we?” and then look at them horrified as if they aren’t wearing any pants.
The gargling derangement comes to an end at 6PM sharp, when everyone will sing a racist song and then go to sleep for a thousand years. Coffee and biscuits are available, but will be flung through a window at the slightest opportunity.
The Milk Lady was on her early morning rounds. She was driving a small electric cart around the streets, delivering bottles of milk and other drinks to people who had asked for it. The company who employed her called those people “subscribers”.
She could remember when this sort of thing was still perfectly normal. The hum of the electric engine, the gentle clatter of the bottles; she could still replay those sounds in her mind, like a song. Once, anyone could have heard it if they had woken up as the sun was rising.
And now here she was, doing it as an actual job, in the 21st Century. After so many things had changed.
She now had to go to bed in the afternoon. She would wake up at about 3am, giving her enough time to get ready and eat a very very early breakfast.
While on that morning’s rounds, she started thinking of what job she might want to do after this one.
One idea was to open a shop. But rather than a normal shop that sold something, it would be a mostly empty room, in an area off a slip road, next to takeaways and men’s barbers and places like that.
The thing that would make it mostly empty instead of just plain empty would be this: a speaker attached to the back wall. It would be a wireless affair, connected to a small bluetooth-enabled gadget hidden out of view.
The wireless speaker would get randomly-selected audio files transmitted to it from the bluetooth doohickey. The files would consist of clips of speech and odd bits of music, broken up with brief periods of silence.
While you could do that in an art gallery, the Milk Lady felt it would be much more interesting to have it in actual public place, local to where people lived.
She thought about how she could encourage people to visit the shop. Maybe she could write letters to strangers, explaining that she didn’t know them, but would they like to visit this shop that just has a speaker in it? Maybe she could put up stickers in odd places, saying that the shop existed, and that you might want to take a look.
Maybe people could be invited to just visit and sit on the floor, listening to this odd broken radio type thing. Maybe it could be a place to just meet up and pass the time…
But of course having a shop would mean that you needed some form of income from it to keep it going. At first the Milk Lady considered the idea of adding vending machines to monetize it. But that would mean the shop would effectively be about vending machines. It would distract from the whole idea of there just being a speaker, spouting out jagged pieces of speech and music.
Try as she might, there was no way to monetize the weird empty room speaker hang out place without somehow compromising the essential empty-but-for-a-single-speaker thing. And of course, for her own reasons, it couldn’t be just a thing set in a gallery. It had to be an actual shop.
This is how the world works, thought the Milk Lady. It ought to stop working like that.
I noticed earlier that one of the linked essays in the Youtube description for hbomberguy’s “ROBLOX_OOF.mp3” video has fallen off the web, and so far hasn’t been put back up on the site it was on. Luckily a PDF was just about accessible on the Wayback Machine, and I reupped that PDF to the Internet Archive itself.
(The text “THE IRA” was written in felt-tip, which was somehow “real” felt-tip markings, sort of hovering above the screen but also sort of not)
🇵🇸 🇵🇸 🇵🇸 🇵🇸 🇵🇸 🇵🇸 🇵🇸 🇵🇸 🇵🇸 🇵🇸
🇵🇸 🇵🇸 🇵🇸 🇵🇸 🇵🇸 🇵🇸 🇵🇸 🇵🇸 🇵🇸 🇵🇸
